How do you leave a life? How do you pack it all up into boxes?
I’ve spent almost a month knowing this day would come. Knowing when I went looking round flats, when I signed my contract and sent it back, when I was excitedly telling everyone about my news. Knowing that the day would come when I would have to pack everything into a car and drive away from my home.
I’ve spent a week saying my goodbyes. Which I knew would be hard, but hadn’t anticipated quite how hard. Saying goodbye to people who have been my friends, my family, my support and my strength, for nearly 7 years. People who’ve shared all my ups and downs, achievements and sadnesses, who pick me up when I’m down, and laugh with me when things are tough. Wanting to see everyone again, just one last time, so that I don’t have to say goodbye just yet.
And now all that’s left here is a few bags and boxes. There’s no going back now, no changing my mind. No chance to stay. And yet, part of me hasn’t really taken it in yet. This place has a hold on me. People I’ve spoken to have said ‘I know its hard to leave, cos I haven’t managed it’. Oh how I wish I didn’t have to.
Whatever happens, I’m still going to keep going. I’m going to drive away from here tomorrow, knowing that I’m taking my memories with me. And that I’ll be back. Its not goodbye really, its ‘see you soon’.
But for now, I’m off. I know I’ve not been particularly regular at posting recently, but I’m likely to be offline for a couple of weeks, while I get my phone line and internet sorted in the new flat. I might pop by if I manage to swipe someone else’s in the meantime. Till then, take care. Thoughts and prayers in this direction appreciated.
I’ll be seeing you xx