Things have progressed since my last post, although not really in the way I might have liked. Things are now more or less resolved in one way or another, in that I at least have answers to some of the uncertainties.
In the last week, I;
- submitted my application for voluntary redundancy and was told it had been received
- found out (the same day) that I hadn’t got the other job I had been waiting to hear about
- had my application for voluntary redundancy accepted
- was told I will probably finish work on the 17th (this Friday)
In exactly that order.
This left me with around a week left of one job, and yet no other job to go to. Unsurprisingly this led to a night or two of complete despair, worry, and so on. These feelings aren’t gone, but they’re more under control now. I know we’ll be ok, and I just have to hope that as well as that, I will be able to get back into this career I was trying to build at some point.
So now, almost a year to the day after I started this job, I am facing my last four days of work. The day I finish will be three weeks to the day since we got the email saying the process was starting. Fast just doesn’t cover it.
I’m now left with a bizarre mixture of emotions. Sadness at not really having anything meaningful to do, worry about not being able to get something else, and disappointment at things not working out properly (we’ll probably have to look for a smaller cheaper flat than we’d like due to me not working). These are balanced with excitement at the challenges and opportunities that this might bring, the new things I will experience and the different possibilities before me, relief that I won’t have to endure another season of newt and bat surveys, and unbelievable, indescribable happiness that sometime very soon we might actually not be many miles apart. There are no words for this, but its that which keeps me going.
Also, their were enough of us that opted for voluntary redundancy that no one else is going to have to leave without choosing to, which makes a big difference to how I feel about leaving and what will happen afterwards.