A week today we will be married. We’ve spent the last week saying ‘wow its very soon’ about every half hour or so. Its quite funny. So exciting, nervous in a very small way because its a big event and you want everything to go well.. “Like stage fright rather than cold feet!” was how Chris put it when I was saying why I might be nervous come the day itself!! Quite accurate really, why on earth would I have cold feet when I’ve been looking forward to this for a year?!
On Tuesday I had my last unmarried birthday. In a way that shouldn’t be significant, being married or not doesn’t really change a birthday, but being this close to the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life gives everything a special significance. It’s a very odd, slightly nervous tingly feeling when people ask when we’re getting married and I can now say ‘next week’! As someone who really enjoys the anticipation as well as the event, this time is really special. And I’m so glad we’ve been properly organised, because now there’s not that much left to do, so we can just enjoy it!
Last Sunday we had covenant service at church. This is the annual service where we remember the new covenant God made with his people, and promise to fulfill our part in the life God wants us to live. I always find it very meaningful, but this year it also has extra significance as I thought about the ‘covenant’ I will make with Chris in a short time. In the service we say ‘I am no longer my own, but yours’, and I was thinking about this a lot as the thought of our wedding was inevitably on my mind. I don’t believe that I ‘belong’ to any one person, and at the wedding I won’t be ‘given away’ by my Dad even though he will walk down the aisle with me. If there is any giving to be done I will be the one doing it. But that is the point: I choose. And I choose this person, and because I do, I also choose that it is not *my* will any more, but *ours*. In the same way as in the covenant service where I consent to live my life the way God would wish, here I consent to live as part of a couple, whether that means I am able to live as I want and go where I want, or whether I am asked to compromise or sacrifice these for the sake of another. I will make these promises, and, as the text says, with God’s help I will try to hold to them. I pray that Chris will be patient with me as I try!