The newest piece of news is that I have been offered a permanent job with Natural England! Each time I’ve thought I might blog this something has changed, either in real terms or at least in our thinking about it, which has complicated things. I applied for two jobs, one where I am now (East region) which I would do from Cambridge still, and one in the South East where I would work from Reading, and in the end the one we have gone for isn’t the one we started off thinking we wanted. Funny how perspectives change.

I was offered the South East job before Christmas, told them I’d think about it, and then interviewed for the other one. Having really disliked the second interview, to the extent that I wasn’t sure I wanted that job anymore, we began re-evaluating our previous assumptions, looking at the logistics again. It’s interesting when something happens that changes your perspective, you see all the possibilities which you were blind to before. When we’d thought about it previously, we had pre-conceived ideas of what would be the best, and therefore saw all the problems with the other. This one small change allowed us to look more carefully a second time, and see that the South East was possible, indeed in some ways preferable.

What was to start with awkward and annoying (that the first interview was for the job I didn’t think I wanted, so I had to wait for the second interview) was actually quite fortunate. When I returned to work I found out I hadn’t been offered the other job anyway, which was fine, I didn’t want it by then. But if I had been told that beforehand, then the South East would have felt like a second best, even if we later saw the positives in it. Or, if I’d been offered both, then we might have stuck with the East region, and not have seen what we had missed. As it is, I’ve never been less upset by being turned down for a job, I’m looking forward to starting the new one and having some new challenges (my current job has stagnated a bit of late) and to moving into a nicer, larger flat with a spare room for visitors! Not so much looking forward to the actual moving bit though!

I don’t start till early March, so I can finish my current contract, and so we have time to find a new place, pack up everything and move across London. At least this time we’re only going down the road in comparison to the last move! One of the big advantages to this move is that we will stay in London and therefore keep the connection to our church which we have begun to feel at home in, and also where we will be getting married (in fact, we’ll end up closer to the reception venue after we’ve moved, which is handy!). This opens up all sorts of cans of worms in terms about wanting to stay versus wanting to leave, how long we need to stay, when and how we want to move away etc etc. But as I keep being told, we can only worry about so much at a time. This doesn’t stop me worrying, but I can at least try!

PS Responses to comments on the previous post will follow, lots more to think about there!

So I haven’t mentioned anything wedding related so far. I could say it was out of an effort to not turn this blog into a wedding blog. Or that there isn’t anything to report, or that there is but I’m trying to keep it quiet. But none of the above are true, although I am planning to manage the first!

In the… *counts on fingers* nearly 4 months (am I meant to remember that?) that we’ve been engaged the plans have come on apace. We had a good many ideas before the question popping- not the big stuff (as the wedding industry might have you believe) but the bits that to us were important enough that we just ‘knew’- the hymns we wanted, who we wanted to do the service, helpful-type people who we wanted to ‘do stuff’, which traditions to keep and which to ditch (none of the ’honour and obey’ or me being ‘given away’ in that sense), and more or less when (I’ve always wanted a winter wedding, and thankfully Chris doesn’t think this is too crackers to go along with it!).

But once we knew it was actually happening, all the so far unknowns had to become known, and we had the fun task of deciding on the ‘big things’. We made the difficult decision to get married in our church in London, which was far from both our families (mine in particular), but is the first place which has been properly ours, rather than mine or his. The first place we have lived together also has special significance. So now we have the church, and the reception venue booked, which means we have a date (January 2011) and an idea of what the day is going to be like. I now also have a dress, which I have duly begun teasing Chris about with images of meringues and pink and purple stripes! So, in short, by Christmas we had enough sorted to sit back and relax for a bit, knowing that we still have plenty of time to make the difficult decisions like how to cut the list of hymns down to a reasonable number, and what flowers to have (never ask a botanist to choose flowers, very bad idea!).

However, the best comedy moment over Christmas was Chris, when asked how the planning was going by someone at my parents Church, confessing “Well, it’s all kind of on hold at the moment…” Unfortunately we have no idea who this poor person was to explain that that’s not quite what he meant! Oops..

Several times over the last couple of weeks I’ve said to myself, ‘I must blog that’ but somehow never quite got around to it. Apparently life is quite busy at the moment. So, even if this isn’t a full on update on everything from the last month(s) that I’ve been away, I thought I had to start somewhere.

A lot of the business the last few weeks seems to have been Christmas related. When you have two families to buy for, who are further away and not so prompt with their requests, you have to start planning early. And then there’s the problem of trying to find something for each other (easier said than done!) and manage to shop separately so there’s some element of surprise. We ended up going our separate ways around department stores, and Chris doing some secretive shopping after work. And thats before we even get around to wrapping or writing Christmas cards!

Christmas this year is feeling very different than it has done before, for many reasons, but due mainly, I think, to the fact of us living together now. Last year was the first year we were together at Christmas, but we were also many hundreds of miles away in the African sun, so it was anything but a ‘normal’ Christmas. This year, we’re going to my parents, then to Chris’, with all the usual Christmas stuff, but together. And there’s the little things, like putting up our joint Christmas cards in our flat, rather than having to divide them between us like we did last year! Yesterday we bought our first Christmas tree! Not a big deal in some ways (Chris helpfully pointed out that in commitment terms it’s not really that permanent..) but in others, it feels like a milestone, that this place we live, while not being what we would like, is home, and more importantly, its ours. One slight issue is that we might have got a wee bit carried away with the size of tree, and it currently appears to be swallowing a bookcase, part of the coffee table and obscuring the TV.. hoorah for Christmas!

The other change to Christmas this year has been thinking about Advent from the point of view of a preacher, and challenging myself to see it differently. There are many aspects of Advent I find particularly meaningful and inspirational, but I can’t preach about these every year! Making myself think about new perspectives on familiar themes is one of the interesting and enjoyable aspects of Local Preaching, and Advent is a season so rich with potential that the whole process is quite exciting. The service I’m working on is this Sunday coming, Advent 3. I might share some thoughts with you once I’ve got them in place.

Continuing the theme of exciting news, Chris and I have got engaged!!! Its been about two weeks now so we’re just about getting used to the idea, and using the ‘e’ word which for the first few days just sounded a little odd.

We went for a weeks holiday to Chris’ parents house in France, and spent the time reading a lot, eating and drinking a fair bit, and doing some walking too. One of these walks Chris took me up a hill (well, kind of a hill, he wasn’t impressed when I said it was more like a bump) and popped the question! Cue lots of grinning and ‘ooh wow is this real’ type comments. Amusing reactions from both sets of parents, finding out we’ve been the subject of at least one sweepstake, and lots of friends squeaking down the phone. As well as a few ‘its about time too’ responses. You know who you are.

Anyway, we’re now fully into the wedding planning stage, where not an evening goes by without thinking about something. Ideas are being discussed, hymns suggested (although we already have a pretty good idea, the problem is going to be keeping the list from getting too long!), and budgets agreed. All in all, an enjoyable and slightly surreal experience. Its another of those events when you step back every now and then and think ‘blimey, is this actually happening?’ When it feels like playing at being a grown-up, like you did when you were in school. But when do you ever not feel that way? I don’t think you do.

Some of you will have known all this already, for which I apologise. But if this blog is about my life and everything, then big events just need to be recorded!

Last weekend I was on a course in Yorkshire for the weekend, learning how to identify grasses, being geeky about botany and generally enjoying the outdoors. It was fun, which was no surprise. I always enjoy these courses, the people are friendly, and I love the challenge of learning new things. Spending time with a group of like-minded people, even if I don’t know them to start with, is refreshing, inspiring and strengthening. It reminds me there are other people struggling with the same things I am, working towards the same aims. And also that those that have made it aren’t super-human geniuses but ordinary people like me. I always return feeling like I can get there, and that all these things are possible.

However, when it comes to actually going, to packing my things and leaving home for a few days, I always wish I wasn’t going. It suddenly feels like the worst thing in the world, which this time was a bit harder because instead of just leaving my own flat I was leaving *our* flat, and Chris, for the weekend. Its something that I wish I didn’t have to do, and I’d rather be doing anything else.

But then, if I know its going to be really good when I get there, why is this? I guess its the fear of the unknown. Even if its not a big fear, and its not a big unknown, its still something I can’t anticipate and there’s a part of me which wants to stay with what I know.

Human nature. Its a funny beast.

All sorts of other stuff has happened since I last posted, I’ll maybe get around to that some other time. Right now, I have a sermon to write, but I’ve been meaning to post this for about a week..

I’ve spent a fair amount of time hanging about in London since I finished work, partly for the purpose of finding us somewhere to live.. which we now have After much slogging round the streets of north London wearing myself and the soles of my shoes down, we’ve managed to get ourselves a rather nice little flat in Tufnell Park, in Camden. It would have to be the first one I looked at as well wouldn’t it?! But that aside, its very exciting. Its a lot more spacious than most for the same price range, due to it being an ex-council flat in a not very inspiring large block, but the area is nice, quiet and green, and very close to Hampstead Heath. There were estate agent photos, but I think its been taken off now, but we’ll get some once we’re settled.

Now begins the manic-ness of organising and trying to ship me and all my stuff down the country.. so far we have a van and a merry (or at least willing) group of helpers. This Sunday is my last service in Shrewsbury, so once the sermon-writing is out of the way, the packing shall begin in earnest.

Excitement, madness, occasional panics about practicalities, and just wanting it all to be done, but definately excitement still. I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve said ‘one day..’ I don’t think its going to sink in properly till we’re there together surrounded by boxes and realise neither of us is leaving to go home..

In wanting to update everything about the sticky work situation, I have neglected to write about the lovely bank holiday weekend we had, and lovely it most certainly was. For a start, this was the first year I’ve been able to fully appreciate a four day weekend for what it is, being the first year I’ve been working full time either side! It just seemed to go on forever, despite being filled with enjoyable stuff!

I made it down to London late on Thursday night, and on Friday we spent the day with Chris’ older brother and family, chatting, eating, drinking and all that stuff. As well as a rather entertaining trip to the Natural History Museum at Tring. Think lots of stuffed animals and you’re about there. Very odd to see all sorts of animals we encountered in Kenya stuffed and behind glass. Friday evening saw us return to London to meet Never Conforming and her missus, have a nice dinner in the crypt at St Martin in the Fields, and then a trip out to Greenwich on Saturday. A good amount of time to chat and catch up on the various happenings in each of our lives, of which there seem to be many! Nice to have a few days to chew the fat when recently we’ve only had one or even just an evening.

Saturday evening some of us, along with some other friendly folkie types went to see our favourite Barnsley lass in a rather nice venue. Kate was on good form, but also well matched by the accompanying Red Skies string ensemble. Difficult to find a website for them, but suffice to say, if you get a chance, they’re worth a listen.

After Easter Sunday service at Hinde Street we headed out on our travels again, this time in the direction of Leamington Spa for Chris’ brother’s 21^st birthday. One night staying in a student house reminded me just how long it was since I was one, and that single beds are definitely only made for one. On Monday, Joe’s actual birthday, we went out for a rather posh meal at a restaurant nearby. You can tell its posh when you have luncheon not lunch. But the place was quiet and sophisticated, the boys (mostly) wore jackets, and some had fun trying to decipher the menu! French speakers are handy to have around. The food was lovely, the setting very pretty, and the company wonderful. Some photos in the grounds while the sun was shining to show the gallivanting parents that their sons do scrub up well when pushed!

All in all, a jam packed but relaxed and easy weekend. A perfect introduction to the delights of double bank holidays!

A little while back I wrote about a friend of mine at work who had gone through a not very nice redundancy process.

Well, on Friday I found out that I am now essentially going to go through the same process. Our team is being ‘reviewed’, which is a nice way of saying they can’t afford to keep us all on, and so something (or someone) has to give. Not a very nice thing to read on a Friday lunchtime, but then, when is a good time come to that?

Having had a weekend to let it settle in, to talk about our options and to work out as much of a strategy as is possible with this many unknowns, I feel at least a little more prepared, and a little more able to think and talk about it.

Firstly, we don’t know if it’ll be me or not, but looking at the criteria that they use to decide, I think I can make a pretty safe guess that it will. Then there’s what ‘options’ I get given, which I’ll find out on Wednesday at the consultation meeting. Yes, its all that quick. They reckon three weeks and it’ll be pretty much there.

Secondly, there’s other jobs. The one I had the interview for the other week is not lost yet. I was told at the time it would be a few weeks, so still waiting on that one. Was trying not to pin too many hopes on it, but I think now thats gone out the window. If I get that one, all will be well, or at least, it will be a lot sooner. If not, there’ll be others. And meanwhile we’ll manage for a bit on a combination of payoffs and savings, I’ll blitz temping agencies and whatever else in London, and keep at it with the ‘real jobs’ till I get somewhere.

Also, one thing that struck me straight away with this is that, even though its pretty crappy, I’m in a far better position than many of the others. Among this group of people many have mortgages, children, one has a child on the way in the summer, and another, my colleague here, is getting married on Saturday and then off on honeymoon for two weeks. Not to mention being settled here where his wife-to-be has a steady job and where both their families live. And if the jobs market isn’t great at the moment, its probably none existant round this way.

I think I’ll be ok, at least, at the moment I’m not too worried. This may well change if I find out tomorrow that I didn’t get the job and on Wednesday that the situation is worse than I thought. And last thing at night when I can’t sleep it doesn’t seem so easy. But it’ll be ok, and I know I’m not doing this on my own, this is a ‘we’ rather than a ‘me’ thing, and just that makes it all seem a whole lot less scary.

Although I am of course terribly disappointed that I may miss out on a whole lot of newting

So that last post was inspired by (and has inspired) thoughts for my sermon this weekend. But to go back to the more mundane stuff thats also been going on..

This weekend just gone was the SCM annual conference, always a thought-provoking experience, and this year was no exception. I’ll come back to that sometime. Aside from the ‘official’ bit of the conference, its always good to see people. New friends and old friends, getting together again and chatting in the pub or singing till the small hours, and then realising that two nights of little sleep is not a good way to start a new working week!

The heating problems continue, three visits of the manufacturers engineers down, still no  better. |Apparently after three visits they send out a ‘lead engineer’. Which means what? Is that jargon for ’someone who knows what they’re doing’? In which case why didn’t they send them first?! The mind boggles.

Last night I spent a happy, err, while, organising my posts and adding categories (sermon which needed writing might have had something to do with this sudden urge!). Hoorah for another form of organisational procrastination! I’ve decided tagging will be restricted to newer posts, or I may never post again for spending all my time tagging. Which would somewhat defeat the point.

Job hunting continues, jobs come up and I think will continue to do so, we’ll see where that takes us. Hoping and praying that sometime soon something will change and this half-life will be transformed. Although the idea of that is so mythical and far off that in some ways it doesn’t quite seem real.

And talking of which, I should draw your attention to a new wibber who has appeared this week, who I now can’t refer to simply as Mr RF. Some of you have spotted him already, but if not, wander over and say hello.

Despite having spent quite a few weekends in London now, we seem to have mostly had ’stuff to do’- before Christmas this mostly involved Christmas shopping. The last two weekends were the first we’ve had there since Christmas, and we’ve made a start on the ‘going places and seeing things’. You see, I don’t really know London, so I wanted to get out to some of those places I’d always heard of but never seen.

Last weekend we had a lovely wander over a snowy Hampstead Heath, with proper wintry weather (he thinks I’m a bit mad to love winter so much!). We walked and talked, stopped to sit down, and walked again when we got cold. And warmed ourselves up with cream tea in a little cafe on the way home. After church on Sunday we had a mad lunch of Dim Sum with a friend of mine, no idea what we ordered but it tasted good!

This Saturday, yes the 14th, we’d decided to make ourselves a scrummy dinner (rather than paying someone else for it), and so Saturday morning was spent happily mooching around looking for random ingredients- the favourite being a wonderful organic hippyish shop with nuts and seeds and all types of tea in big jars Although apparently there are no chives in Camden just now. So now you know.

After the shopping we headed out to Greenwich for the afternoon, to a lovely pub for lunch (with very yummy beers), and then a wander through the park and up to the observatory. With my fix of science geekery we then wandered back down, past the maritime museum, to wend our way home.

The evening was spent in a contented kind of organised chaos as we tried to work out whether the carrots needed soaking before the aubergines had finished being pressed, how to tell if the sesame seeds were toasted sufficiently, and how on earth we would ever use the ’small’ bunch of parsley we had bought! The end results were definately rather yummy, with the aubergine fritters and bread and butter pudding being the highlights.

Our Sunday lunch date cancelled, we headed to have lunch near Trafalgar Square, and had a wander around the national gallery. A pleasant discovery was an exhibition of the impressionist painter Sisley’s time in England and Wales, in which we learned that he was married in Cardiff and spent his honeymoon on the Gower. His paintings of Langland were rather special.

A rather nice valentines weekend in all. And no hint of the stress of booking restaurants, dealing with stroppy waiters, or long queues in sight. Sorry bimble.